Father The Boy

There is a space in every son's heart for which a father is supposed to fill. A space that the father need to be very ready to occupy or else he will never be able to connect with the son. A son longs for his father's  affection. He searches for that one person who will father him. Truth be told, there is an abundance of mothers, but fathers, well, you tell me.

I always feel at loss when a boy opens up his heart to me. One of my first questions how is your dad? Have you shared this with your dad? What! Never. He would kill me. I always sympathize with the boy. I wish the father could come down enough and hear out the son, understand the son and walk with the boy through the trials of his times.

A son may roam but he need to have a father to come back to, a man to look up to, to walk with, talk with and to be with as he learns how to make his maiden steps into manhood. The mother is there when the baby boy is born and even when he makes his maiden steps, mum encourages the boy on and that's how we end up knowing how to walk and even bolt. Is there a father when the boy is making his maiden and shaky steps into manhood? Where is the father when the boy is in need of encouragement and direction?

Do we have a voice that connects with the tenderness of a boy's heart or is what we have a voice that roars and the boy hides never to come out in the presence of the man who bears the name of hero he should look up to? When a father allows the son to make mistakes in his presence that he may teach the to try again and again without giving up on him.

Fathers have an example in our Father in heaven, that they can be the best they can be. For this generation need a foundation of father-ship.

#FatherToBe 

A Husband and the Band He Has

Did I get married to my husband or the band he has? 

There may not be such a greater coming together than the coming together of a band of sober men. Family fortunes have been changed by men who came together and charted a way to make life more worth living. You should have more cause to worry when your husband is a lone ranger than when he has a band of sober men to go to for men talk. 

You have a cause to be terrified if the band is made up of unstable regulars, unless of cause if your man is a counsellor, a life coach or he works in a rehabilitation centre in which case, his is not a band but a group of clients who need urgent help or some level of assistance to come to terms with their lives. 

A married man who still remains stuck to the bimonthly meeting of bachelors long after the two of you became one has two points to proof; you cornered him into marital responsibilities or he really never moved on from where you first met him, he is still back there. He need to feel esteemed and needs to belong. 

The talk at the band has a way of manifesting itself non-verbally and physically in the house. He will come home drunk because the band was out drinking. It is the flocking of the birds of a feather. Unless he is an alpha male, the band leader, he most likely will be a follower, a subject, the KYM (Kanda Ya Moko). The good thing is that men are learners they start from simple to great. The bad is, not all bands are out to make it right. Know what kind of band your man is in, it will tell you where the two of you are headed – show me your band and I will tell you what kind of a husband you are.

The case of a band who thinks that your home is the place to watch the whole of the Premier League season, extending to the odd wee hours is extreme, especially so when your perspective of ‘The Game’ is some people on the screen running right and round and centre after a small globe, trying to make it pass through two poles, a guy keeping watch and a backdrop of the net with a noisy crowd sitting all the way round. As if that’s not enough, a band of men are wearing out your newly acquired, thickly padded, leather sofa set. Their eyes on that flat screen LCD TV that your hubby bought on the day that was your wedding anniversary. 

A band of men who treat their wives right has a seeping down effect into the house. When men sit around a born-fire, with their family in mind, things always work right. Such a band is one that will keep your man coming back home when the marriage is on the waves. Keeps him coming back home because he knows he is your husband. 

The band is not where he runs to from you nor is it where he runs from to you. It is part of his growth and life, part of what makes him a better husband, where iron sharpens iron. Where the challenges of manhood are demystified, a place of solutions for the high calling that is to be a husband.

I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing. 1 Tim 2:8