9 Wrong Reasons For Getting Into A relationship.

 Let's hit the road on this.

I arrived home, there was no power, I took my phone and came up with a list of wrong reasons why people get into relationships. Why? Because it is ever happening.

1. For Self or Someone's Consolation.

Because they just broke up from a relationship and you want to console them by being the fall-back plan. This may not be consciously but believe you me many have found themselves being just shoulders to lean on and when the hurt subsides, the person rises from the mist that you called relationship and you are left hurting. Best thing is to tell your heart to stop at that junction until the way is clear and you are sure the person is ready to move on and to move on with you.

2. You have feelings for them.

Feelings are good. We all have them (unless you are not one of all of us). We have felt them so many times from the time we started being sane of whom we are. Take time to watch your feelings from a distance, like a hawk. Gather facts about the genuineness of your feelings. We do not get into relationships with just our feelings; we get in with the fullness of who we are; our critical minds and touchy hearts and yes, the feely fresh.

3. To keep up with the crowd

Your friends and age mates are in relationships or they are getting married. And you are still here walking the streets alone. You will want to keep up. You will want to be relevant. You will want not to be the odd one out. You will want to rush but not to a relationship. Get there at your own time; when your mind, your heart, your spirit and your body are ready. I do not mean to say that you will not experience some uncertainty (which is always healthy to keep you from being overconfident that can lead you to hot-air-balloon-ships) what am saying is if you are in it to keep at par, you are doing it the wrong way. Be in it because it is your (most importantly) self made decision.

4. To spite someone

It happens. You have tried to get this guy or girl into the net and they have always slithered past or you just broke up with someone and you want them to feel a kiwaru on your account. It is stupid to do so. This is because it will lead you nowhere. I will not tell you to get a life (because that will hurt) but don’t get into a relationship to spite because that is like rattling a snake, you are the one who get bitten.

5. For sex

Truth is the pressure to have sex real. You may want to dive into the relationship waters with the intention of being served a ride to your pleasure. I do not advocate for sex before marriage. I subscribe to Jesus Christ, a believer in the Bible. That said, believer or unbeliever, sex is before marriage (fornication) is a real temptation. Never get into a relationship for sex. Sex is sacred and for the marriage bed.

6. For cover-up or satisfy demands from others

Family and friends can push you into a corner especially when your days are advancing. How do you explain to your family that you should be allowed to come home for charismas alone while or your other siblings have families and little kids they bring home for your parents to bless? How? They may mention it, they may not, but the pressure and the heat can have you sweating all the way into a cover-up-relationship just to silence the laud untie or even give hope to the prayerful mother. It takes courage to walk you path (the road less travelled – call it the road singly travelled coz it is your life) until when things take shape for others to see. You can not be a people pleaser – that is not who you are created to be. Take your time. Be on your time.

7. To avoid loneliness and boredom

 Be comfortable with yourself. If you cannot enjoy your company in the first place, you are better off with no one. Read: When I'm With Myself blog post for more insights on this.

8. To have a story to tell

You may want to have a story to tell to your band of boys or girlfriends but don’t try get into the juice of storyteller at the expense of your future happiness. I know you have ever heard of peer pressure, It pressures people into unplanned places. Stand your ground until you are ready. There is no better story than the one you will tell when you have been patient – ask me, I know.

9. The age scarecrow

Time flies. We got things to do and before you know it, you are still one digit as others couple. Age is just a number that can pressure. Know your times. Live your times. Take right strides, at your own pace. 

There may be other wrong reasons to get into a relationship. I hope these reasons helped you look into your life to help you fine-tune the areas in your life that may need pruning or at least equip you with wisdom for facing relationships life.

Thank you for the read. Feel free to share.