Mr or Ms Right for someone else?

At times it is clearer; if I am married, you have no business falling in love with me. Am taken, am the right person for someone else. That is crystal clear; unless you got married by accident and you are silently hoping for another accident to transpose you to another – let’s talk about that another time.

 The murky waters are of the single world; how do you handle someone who loves you when your love is elsewhere? What do you do when Mr or Ms Right for someone else come loving (read knocking) at your door convinced that you are Mr or Ms Right for them?

Wisdom bites for life

You may be living a very wonderful love story, being so sure that this is the story that heaven designed for you and with you in mind in matters love. Then here comes this person who throws a new line into your love ecosystem and the weather of your love world goes from red to green. From red ripe to raw green! Then the wind no longer breeze; it whirls. Tornadoes, hurricanes and tsunamis may lock your world! What do you do?

Maybe the first instinct will be to throw them words so compact and powerful that it places you in the league of boxing champions. And I want to say don’t. Yes. Don’t. Don’t do that. I know you may fear on how negatively it will impact on your current relationship but remember you are not in a boxing match and you are not on your death bed. Avoid being so furious that it disrupts your piece and ends up hurting you. It’s not how vigorous you handle it; it’s how clearly you communicate yourself. That said, there will always be that notorious busy body that is not willing to give up – I could go get a court restraining order for you if you persist. Handle people politely and decisively. When I say what I say, let it be so clear that there will be very little room if any for someone to say ‘I think you did not mean this or that.’

There is an open door just for you.

We all have wondered along this path at one time or another. We wish to have been understood. We wish to never have wondered. We wish to still smile un-painfully when we remember the days of our wondering. You may not have time for that love wanderer but you could have the insight they need to wonder no more. You are not the solution but you may have an idea to what these moments of our lives is all about. We all have that wonderful moment when a stranger was so good to us that we still wish we could meet them again to offer a ‘God bless you, you were there for me at the right moment in the right time.’ Take time and pray for the wanderer to find their way.

Communicate care not confusion. Clarity. Say what you mean. Be plain. Be simple. Show care – care carefully. Care is easily misinterpreted to be a mutuality of love so handle care with care. Care to encourage this someone to go on with life – this space is booked but surely there must be some good space for you right ahead.

Show direction – what you do, say or portray will get them coming or moving on. Time is of essence and you should not allow someone to keep coming when you are sure there is no parking space where you are at. When it comes to true love, there isn’t any sign like ‘Park at your own risk.’

You were taught to be hospitable, to welcome visitors with a cup of tea. Yes, even to entertain strangers. They could be angels you know! If your heart is taken, have the portrait of your heart taker  hanged somewhere overlooking the whole heart and any entrant there in. Just like that mum and dad portrait hanging on the wall of the living room, so conspicuous that anybody who visits knows who are the bosses here.